Now that it is summertime, and with most schools in the Bay Area not opening until the next term (and then usually under rotating schedules in the mornings and afternoons), parents will continue to be challenged for some time with keeping their children healthy, focused, and engaged while juggling their own work obligations.
As a parent, the most important thing to keep in mind is that your children crave structure and consistency. “Building routines with your children helps them feel safe,” says child psychologist Danielle Kaufman. “They know what to expect and it provides them with clear boundaries, expectations, and consistency.” Family routines also help to moderate impulsiveness and oppositional symptoms and traits in children, according to a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology.
Tips For Creating Structure & Routine
1. Stick to it.
Setting and sticking to a regular schedule is key. Though summer camps and daycare centers may not be open this summer, your schedule can mimic a school or day camp timetable—changing activities at predictable intervals and alternating periods of study and play. Of course, planning a routine is easier than sticking to it, so here are some suggestions for making it work:
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- Engage your child in making the schedule. This will help them buy into it.
- Post your daily schedule so everyone knows what to expect, and so you can point to it instead of answering constant questions about when something is going to happen.
- Have regular reminders for when it’s time to transition from one thing to the next.
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- If you fall off your schedule, just reset and try again.
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2. Be creative.
Incorporate new activities into your routine, like doing a puzzle, cooking, or having family game time in the evening. David Anderson, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, recommends brainstorming ways to go “back to the 80s”—before the time of screen prevalence. “I’ve been asking parents to think about their favorite activities at summer camp or at home before screens,” he says. “They often then generate lists of arts and crafts activities, science projects, imaginary games, musical activities, board games, household projects, etc.”
3. Build time in the schedule for special subjects like movement, art, and music.
You do not need to be an expert at these things. Art can be drawing with a pencil or building a structure with sticks. Music can be singing together or drumming a rhythm on the table for your child to repeat back to you. Movement can even be making up your own dance.
4. Schedule two or three times a day to get outside.
Keep your kids physically active. It’s both healthy and a great stress-reliever. It helps them focus when they get back to work and makes it easier for them to sleep at night.
5. Set aside some quiet time.
Naps are still important for young kids. Older kids need some predictable downtime, too, especially in a stressful and uncertain time like this. You can find lots of excellent free mindfulness apps and activities online. Or, you can make a daily list of three things each of you is grateful for, then post these on the fridge or put them in a jar so you can all revisit them when you’re feeling down or stressed.
6. Keep kids in the loop about the pandemic and its effect on the future—but keep it simple.
“Talking to children in a clear, reasonable way about what’s going on is the best way to help them understand,” says Rachel Busman, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “But remember, kids don’t need to know every little thing.” Unless kids ask specifically, there’s no reason to volunteer information that might worry them.
The invisible architecture of daily life can change lives in profound ways, says Gretchen Rubin, author of ‘Better than Before.’
Considering the current times we’re living in, kids need this architecture more than ever before.
Additional Resources For Parents:
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